“For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me. She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for burial.”Mark 14:7-8 ESV
Reflection: who are you focused on?
The most self-reflective, eye opening trainings I had in my professional career were tied to communication; specifically “active listening skills”. The training, and practice, involves first the basics of being quiet when talking with and listening to someone else, meaning not interrupting them. But, also having to repeat what the other person just said in a qualifying question. What this forces you to do is to hear, to pay attention, and understand what the other person is saying. Which means you have to stop thinking about what you want to say as a response, and instead engage in the other person’s point. Actively. Active listening. The effect on the other person is feeling heard. Feeling validated, and valued. This is of course the foundation of empathy.
What struck me most about this training was how focused I was in my head, in my thoughts about what I wanted to say. And, in doing so, I was unable to truly hear what others are saying. I had to train myself to stop thinking about my own points, even sometimes “let them go” in the moment, even when I thought they were “good” points. This focus on self, on wanting to get our points across, not even hearing the others, is of course rooted in selfishness. We are in our flesh very selfish. To let go of that in a conversation, and instead invest ourselves in the other person’s point of view, feels like we are giving up something. It goes against our flesh. Our ego.
The Bible teaches us that God is the opposite of being selfish. He is the giver. In fact He gives it all, including Himself by sacrificing His own life, so that we can have life. He has demonstrated that He will hold nothing back. There is a beautiful story and lesson about the contrast of self sacrifice and selfishness found in Mark 14:3-9. As Jesus and His disciples are at friends having dinner, a woman shows up. “And while he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head.” Mark 14:3 ESV. This was a very costly ointment, worth one year’s salary. Now, think for a moment about using one year of your salary for a moment like this, whatever your salary happens to be. It is a lot of money. But she doesn’t hesitate, but gives it all as a sacrificial gift, showing her love for Jesus.
Next we see the contrast of selfishness. The disciples got angry at the woman, perhaps for several reasons. But specifically about her “waste”. We read from John’s account of this story that it was specifically Judas, who obviously was very selfish, who stirred the disciples and finally spoke up. “There were some who said to themselves indignantly, “Why was the ointment wasted like that? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” And they scolded her.” Mark 14:4-5 ESV. Can you image using “the poor” as an excuse for not giving to God? But Jesus knew the woman’s and the disciples motives, and says “But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her?
She has done a beautiful thing to me.” Mark 14:6 ESV
Why did Jesus call her action “beautiful”? Most likely because it was selfless. It was sacrificial, giving of herself represented by giving everything she had. An act of selfless, sacrificial love, which is in a way a picture of what Jesus did for us. He did a beautiful thing, in whom His Father was well pleased
If we spend a few minutes in an honest account of ourselves; our thoughts, our time, our energy, our resources, even our prayers, it can be rather embarrassing to see how self focused we are. It will tell us whether it is the flesh or the Spirit who is in control. A simple test is to check during your next conversation whether you are focused on the other person, interested in them, or focused on getting your points across. Paul wrote “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”Romans 12:2 ESV
