“and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.””Luke 17:4 ESV
Reflection: are you keeping “records of wrong”?
Yesterday we touched on the topic of restoring and maintaining relationships. That it is a 3-step process, and not just up to one party. Both parties have to engage; the one that has done wrong, and the one that has been wronged. What is so fascinating with what Jesus outlines here is that the process of reconciliation starts with the victim; step 1 is the “rebuke”; in other words letting the brother know that what was done was wrong. Then, step 2 is “repent”; the ball is in the wrongdoer’s court, they have to decide whether to repent or not. And if they do repent (have a change of heart, and of action), Jesus instructs believers that step 3 must be taken. They must forgive, even if it is a “repeat offense”.
Let’s look a bit today at step 3, perhaps the most difficult step in the reconciliation process. Because, even if we say we forgive someone, our memory of a wrong remains. We cannot easily wipe that clean. But here we have an issue, an accounting problem. Because, if we have given the gift of forgiveness, the account (at least on that line item) is zero. Unless of course we actually haven’t forgiven. Then we are not telling the truth to the wrongdoer, which of course is a lie.
This is hard, no doubt.
Some people do keep “record of wrong”, never truly forgiving others. Paul addressed this topic, and he grounded it all in love. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV. Did you notice that?
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Do you need to clean up your accounts? If you have forgiven someone, the account is zero. Forgiveness is built around giving – for[give]ness. It is not earned. It is not fair. It is given. Only the account holder, the victim, can clear out what is owed. No one else.
So why is it so important that we forgive? Have you ever been around a person that is harboring a lot of unforgiveness? They are full of bitterness, pain, anger, hatred and so on. Not able to enjoy anything or anyone. Not pleasant to be around. The devil uses what we have stored up, the debts that others owe us, to create hate in us. It is counterintuitive, but forgiveness is the only way we can be free, so that we can have good relationships. So that we can love.
Is there a wrong that keeps coming back up again in your life? Let’s check our accounts today, to make sure we don’t have any accounting errors.