“If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him,” Luke 17:3b ESV
Reflection: is repentance necessary to receive forgiveness?
In these few words, Jesus unveils the secret to restoring and maintaining relationships. OK, with such a massive topic, I might have to write several days on it depending on where the Lord is leading me.
So, let’s dig in.
Notice here that Jesus again uses the word “sin”; however this time in the context of sin between brothers. Now to clarify, the reference to “brother” here has a broad meaning, including a spouse, siblings with same parents, a brother in Christ, a countryman, a next door neighbor, or, pretty much anyone. Basically, your “neighbor” in the biblical understanding. The reason for using “brother” versus “neighbor” here is most likely related to having a relationship, such as with family, friends, colleagues, and so on. Because, the lesson that Jesus gives here has to do with
restoring and maintaining relationships.
The lesson has three parts to it. The first part of the lesson is about rebuke. He says that we are to rebuke a brother that sins against us. How can we know Jesus is referring to “sin against us”? Because he clarifies this in the next verse, saying “and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.””Luke 17:4 ESV. So what is “rebuke”, and why is that necessary?
When someone has wronged us, knowingly or unknowingly, we get hurt. And the stronger relationship we have with them, the deeper the hurt. And this hurt can cause all sorts of reactions and responses in us, many of which will make the situation even worse. Escalate the problem and cause a divide. I know with myself that, depending on the situation, I might give a snide remark back, but most often get quiet. But Jesus here gives us such amazing counsel. He doesn’t say to just ignore what happened. No, he says we are specifically to rebuke who wronged us. Because, many times, even our closest “brother” will wrong us without even knowing.
The word “Rebuke” we don’t really use much, other than in a scriptural sense. But it is used 29 times in the Bible, and means, according to Strongs definition “to tax upon, i.e. censure or admonish; by implication, forbid:—(straitly) charge, rebuke.” It is used in different ways in the Bible, as when Jesus “rebuked” the wind and the waves. But here, in the context of a sin against another, rebuke means to
assign a value to the action.
Meaning, what is owed, like a line item in a bank account. If you remember from the Lord’s Prayer, we say “Forgive us our debt, as we forgive our debtors”. The act of rebuking is therefore telling our brother who sinned against us that they incurred a specific debt with us. Something we are holding in our account, with their name on it. What they owe us. And if you think about it, when we have been hurt by someone, it kind of works like that. We have an account, a memory of the hurt, with their name.
Ok, now for the second step, repentance. We understand that, in order to heal a relationship, true repentance is necessary. Repentance means to turn around, go the opposite direction. If you are made aware that you have hurt someone you care about, a relationship you want to keep, you will of course sincerely want to change your way not to hurt them again. On the other hand, if your brother says “sorry”, but you know it is not sincere, true healing of the relationship becomes very difficult. You can (and must) forgive them, but if they just go on hurting you again and again, you understand that their repentance is insincere. The relationship becomes very difficult to keep.
And finally, for the third step, forgiveness. Remembering that forgiveness is a gift, Jesus says that if our brother that hurt us, that we have “rebuked” or assigned a debt owed, comes to us in repentance, we MUST forgive them. It is not an optional thing, if they deserve it. You must clear this debt in the account, which is like loan or debt forgiveness. It is not earned, it is given. Forgiveness of their debts; exactly what we are asking our Father in heaven to do for us.
A point to consider. Let’s say you keep a debt in your account towards a brother, someone you want to have a relationship with, perhaps something they did towards you a long time ago. If they are not aware of this outstanding balance, they cannot repent. And you cannot forgive. The only path forward is to let them know that you are keeping an outstanding debt balance. Then, of course, it is up to them to repent; to ask for forgiveness. You are then obligated by Jesus to forgive them.
And this is of course similar to our relationship with God. Why true repentance is necessary for a follower of Christ. We have sinned against God, have a debt that we cannot repay by ourselves. But He is willing to and able to forgive us. To heal us and restore our relationship with Him. And He is telling us to do the same, with all those around us, our brothers.
To rebuke, repent and forgive.