“for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he kept him safe. When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed, and yet he heard him gladly.” Mark 6:20 ESV
Reflection: what do you do when you have a conflict with someone?
Have you noticed that, to admit being wrong for some people is very difficult. You rarely hear an apology from them. And, a few go so far as never admitting being wrong, even when the cost of standing their ground is very high as the loss of friendships or even a marriage. But the perceived cost of being wrong, of admitting failure, is even higher. There is of course deep psychology here, and it might be one of the favorite playgrounds of the devil. In fact, modern psychology has named several personality disorders for people that are on the extreme spectrum of never admitting being wrong. Never being able to accept responsibility and apologize in any meaningful way. According to an article in Psychology Today, by Lynn Margolies PhD, it generally stems from three key factors, 1) The perceived need to maintain an idealized self image. 2) Refusal to apologize resulting from the misguided belief that one shouldn’t have to apologize since one weren’t at fault. 3) A conviction that no apology needed stemming from a lack of self- and relational-awareness.
Mark tells us in chapter 6-14-29, a detailed account of the martyrdom of John the Baptist. You might be familiar with the story. And while we know Herod was not a good man, we see an interesting description of him in our focus verse today. “Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he kept him safe. When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed, and yet he heard him gladly.” Mark 6:20 ESV So, while John had called out Herod for living a sinful life, specifically about his relationship with his brother’s wife Herodias, he still kept listening to John, and kept him safe. He knew John was “a righteous and holy man”. So when Herodias called out Herod to deliver on his promise to her daughter, the execution of John, Herod had a choice to make. And, as we know, he chose to maintain his promise. He chose to maintain him image. We read,
“And the king was exceedingly sorry, but because of his oaths and his guests he did not want to break his word to her. And immediately the king sent an executioner with orders to bring John’s head. He went and beheaded him in the prison” Mark 6:26-27 ESV. The cost of his sin caught up with him. It is a sad story, the consequence of sin and pride, and Jesus mourned the loss of his cousin John, his messenger, who paved the way for Jesus. John had gained a big following, and people from all over came to John to be baptized, to repent and turn away from their sins. The loss of a life, all because of someone thinking he needed to maintain his image. Not to admit he was wrong. He could have spared John’s life, as he was king.
Now, what does the story have to do with us today? Well, that depends on where you are at in your life journey. If you find yourself in a conflict with someone at home, at work or wherever, are you often the first to admit you might have been wrong, even if you think it wasn’t your fault? Or do generally think you were (more) right, and the other is (more) wrong, waiting for them to apologize? Jesus put it this way, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5 ESV. This is the reason why I called this “the devil’s playground”, because his goal is to steal relationships, to seed and maintain division between us. Is to make us believe that “we are right, and others are wrong”; which is the opposite what Jesus teaches us.
God created us to be in relationship with Him, and with each other.
Anything that breaks that down is not from God. And, when you really think about it, the very first step in the Christian walk, the first step to even receive mercy, is in fact the understanding and acceptance of being wrong. If we cannot admit being wrong, being a sinner and remorseful in a meaningful way, how can we see the need for a savior? The entire salvation rests on this idea that we are not able in ourselves, that we fall short of the glory of God. This is why the Christian walk is a very humble walk, because we realize who we really are away from Christ. Jesus said “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23b ESV
John called out the sinful lifestyle of Herod, not to shame him, but to warn him that his sin would eventually catch up with him. And it did.
